


Just Pretend

by renjunsalien



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (Microscopic) grain of fluff, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Pining Atsumu, Unrequited Love, Wedding Night, angst angst angst, f in the chat, haikyuu!! - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27989022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjunsalien/pseuds/renjunsalien
Summary: For Atsumu, facing his biggest fear required looking at a reflection of his face.A reflection which held your heart.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Reader, Miya Osamu/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51





	Just Pretend

If Atsumu had to use one word to describe how you looked, he would use the word ‘ethereal’.

A large and genuine smile was plastered onto your delicate face, as the lights above you made you glow. The white dress you wore could rival that of a fairytale princess’, and the fond look in your eyes could be compared to the look a mother has for her child. You were the embodiment of ‘love’, and Atsumu’s heart was full of you. To him, you had always been beautiful, but today, the whole world could truly see how you looked through the lenses of his eyes.

The reception hall was filled with hearty laughs, joyful conversations, and friendly banter, but all Atsumu could hear was the distant sound of your voice. Your soft laughs were like a siren’s song, and he was like a fisherman being enchanted by it.

The candles situated at every table in the hall illuminated the night, as the scent of your favourite flowers subtly hung in the air. The marble dance floor was occupied by the moving bodies of your friends and family swaying to the sound of the pianist playing a number in the corner of the room.

Everything was perfect.

Or, according to the utopia created by Atsumu’s rich imagination, it all seemed perfect.

“Congratulations once again to Mrs. and Mr. Miya!” The voice of your cousin gleefully echoes throughout the space.

The applause and cheers of a hundred something friends and family members were like a bullet to his chest.

Guilt consumed Atsumu. 

How could he have been thinking such selfish thoughts when you and the happy man by your side were the most selfless people he’s ever had in his life.

Everyone has to face their fears, and for Atsumu, he was staring right into the face of his.

Reality.

Because in reality, it felt as if he was looking into a reflection of his paradise which would only truly live in the depths of his imagination. Life had always been a bit of a competition for him and his twin; and Atsumu hated nothing more than the feeling of losing. The sight in front of him made his stomach churn and the feeling of loss was starting to suffocate his body. The man you loved was the mirror image of him, and it served as a bittersweet reminder that you fell in love with the other half of him that wasn’t him.

Atsumu’s left index finger felt unbelievably heavy. The empty feeling on his finger felt like the weight of the world dragging him down. The simple matching bands of gold wrapped around your finger and his twin’s taunted his vision. The light reflecting off of your wedding rings felt blinding and it was like kryptonite to his sanity.

A young and naive Atsumu had once thought that winning games would be the sole source of his euphoria; so why did every game he win make the feeling of losing you to his own brother even stronger?

If he could only go back in time, he’d service ace a volleyball into 18 year old Atsumu’s head, roundhouse kick him, and tell him that by running off to Tokyo to play volleyball, he’d be letting you slip through his fingers and into his own brother’s welcoming heart.

If he wasn’t so obsessed with the feeling of a volleyball in his fingers, could those same fingers be the ones to wear an identical ring to yours? Instead of coming home everyday to an empty skyrise apartment after every victory, could it have been your arms that would greet him at the beginning and end of each day?

These intrusive thoughts made Miya Atsumu selfish, but it was his own selfishness that pushed you into Osamu’s selfless arms in the first place.

All he could do now was just pretend.  
Pretend that every time you were referred to as ‘Mrs. Miya’, you were his.

Pretend that every loving smile you wore at the sight of Osamu’s face was present at the sight of his identical one.

Pretend that you were at his games to watch him play, and not because you were assisting Osamu with Onigiri Miya.

Pretend that the sight of you and his brother happily together didn’t pull at his heartstrings.

Pretend that the smile on his face as he prepared himself to congratulate Osamu and you would genuinely reach his eyes.

Pretend that the words of his joyful toast to the newlyweds as the best man would hide his inner turmoil.

Pretend that he was just equally as selfless as the man who owned your heart;   
and to pretend that he was selfless enough to completely let you go.


End file.
